angry furniture leers at me from across the living room, animated, seemingly, with some vile apprehension at just the sight of me and i just sit here and try my best not to provoke any reaction or cause too much of a problem which seems totally illogical in a way but hey it is what … Continue reading “Living Room”
Tag: schizoaffective disorder
“Struggling”
chosen by God from the beginning of time and space, for what i don't really know but i feel it's something big, facing the ever present onslaught of government interference in my life and waiting to see what happens as life unfolds one day at a time, i struggle on and hope for the best … Continue reading “Struggling”
“Come What May”
sleeping less and writing more are typically harbingers of mania for me, slingshotting out of depression and right on into the excitement and euphoria of the opposing state of mind, a transition i've made too many times to remember, so i watch and wait as the days go by, finger on the pulse of my … Continue reading “Come What May”
“Self Destruction”
insidious, creeping in when least expected and appearing out of nowhere, although i guess i should have seen it coming, this thought of self-destruction comes to me like it's the most natural thing in the world, and for me it is, wrestling with these thoughts since i was five, another round in this game i … Continue reading “Self Destruction”
“Mind Playing Tricks On Me”
not hearing voices but other noises are fair game, someone going down the hall and a rustling in the other room even though i'm the only one here, my mind playing tricks on me, the trickster that it is, so i just deal with the strangeness and chalk it up to my disorder and keep … Continue reading “Mind Playing Tricks On Me”
“Looney Tunes”
the music intrudes upon my conscious mind, loud and obnoxious and drowning out all ability to think straight, not constant but coming and going and when it comes it becomes all-encompassing and impossible to ignore, this melodic torture, a symphony of sonic interference, just one more thing for me to have to deal with
“Ambivalence”
ambivalent, all at the same time i feel like i'm chosen by God and deserve to die, elation and despair mixed together in one tumultuous mind state, a state of being that defies all logic or at least mine, not knowing really how to feel and what to do with these things, it seems like … Continue reading “Ambivalence”
“Spook House”
spooks prowl about as ghost chains rattle in cobweb corridors and dusty corners of ancient rooms long uninhabited by the living, floors creaking mysteriously as doors open and close all on their own in this phantasmagorical landscape where the unreal becomes real and nothing is as it seems, this spook house spectacle, the comings and … Continue reading “Spook House”
“Unmotivated”
never one of the beautiful people, scraggly patchy beard not quite spectacular and yet i lack the willpower or whatever it takes to simply shave it off, hair beyond what i consider a good length for me and i am no closer to cutting it than i was yesterday or the day before, basic things … Continue reading “Unmotivated”
“Reality Of It All”
feeling good for a moment and i start to question the reality of this thing, whether i need the meds and if anything is really wrong with me at all, teetering on the brink of dismissing a lifetime of experience in the temporary blink of an eye so to speak, a few brief moments whispering … Continue reading “Reality Of It All”
